Dating rescue

The party was open to all women in their 20s, 30s and 40s (for online, at the door), but the men had to be either active or retired firefighters, paramedics, fire EMS or search and rescue. The day of the party, I wasn't really feeling myself and my insecurities nibbled at me like Twitter troll in front of a dangling Selina Gomez bikini pic, but a few texts with my mom and the quick train ride to the Garment District eased my nerves.

Plus, I already had a singles mixer under my belt and I vowed to relax and just have fun at the next one. Once I realized there was a second bar downstairs (away from the DJ and crowds), I descended into air conditioning and drank my wine from an appropriate big girl cup.

We have worked as partners, so we know each other well. In 9 years being together he maybe mentioned 5 cases. The dynamics of being in relationship with another tough person/person working in the same field is…

Dating rescue

Air conditioning, seats and again, wine in a real wine glass.

Sports were on the TVs and it was decidedly less crowded than the party upstairs.

But alternatives to general dating apps like Tinder are emerging.

In a bid to produce better matches, some require users to answer myriad questions about themselves, then analyze the large trove of responses.

Good: It was much more casual, less on-the-prowl-y and I got there early enough to take advantage of the discounted drinks. Turns out, dear reader, you have more articles like this coming from me because according to Ms.

The women, who to my eye outnumbered the men, were dressed for a date. Pirone, I’m going to be single for most likely two years. (It was in the cards.) The downstairs of Hudson Station was amazing.

9. “One time at band camp” - When in our “pack” whether around a camp fire or at your favorite 5-star restaurant be prepared to witness “The medic story challenge.” You may feel as though you’ve heard one of the most awful stories ever, only to have the next medic pipe in and one-up the last. Now be prepared to challenge your cardiac sphincter’s ability to contain your food as you listen to stories most would consider inappropriate at the table… “One time I had this call…”, “we responded to a guy who was drunk and….”, “I took care of this gal who….” You may find yourself, and other patrons around you wondering how a group can be so twisted that they can (in much detail) describe unthinkable traumas, oozing body fluids and unimaginable situations while indulging in a heaping plate of pasta with extra cheese and thick chunky sauce – some even associating the look of their food to something they’ve had to clean up. Partners for life -  As the saying goes: Don’t walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Don’t walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend. We live in a world where partners and crews – much like pack animals will die to protect each other. There is a deep loyalty and bond derived from the unique situations and challenges we share with our partners and crew. A day at the office for us has no rules. At any point in our day we have a decent chance of being in a life altering situation, a good chance we will be assaulted, a very good chance we will look in the eyes of someone as they take their last breath. We understand life is short and take a very close and personal bond to those we allow in our emotional circle.

When you think about the dynamic of the female first responder you can start to see how complex dating for her could be. Now, sure, there are women who have met their perfect match, dated flawlessly, gotten married, made several babies and lived happily ever after.

It happens, it really does. But for the other 75% (generously speaking) who it doesn’t work out for, this is for you. You have to be “manlier” than she is – This can be complicated. She can carry her own gear – though we do love chivalry and make no mistake, we will teach our sons to hold the door for a lady, be polite and treat every girl like he would his mama, but let’s make something perfectly clear.  – She’ll dial Mommy up for you. Unless you are blue, snoring, grossly angulated or have hemorrhaged out more than 1 liter of blood (and trust me, we’re calculating the volume loss), you’re not going to see us get too excited. ’ – You know, the one who calls, texts, snapchats, FB updates her every move, thought and breath?

Tread lightly. We work in a man’s world and she has had to adapt accordingly. You remember the tom-boy you loved as a kid?  We spend every day proving how tough, how competent, how determined, how capable and how in control we can be. – You’ve heard the terms, Type A, Controlling and OCD?  We’re one big tri-pack. Should you at any point make an attempt to tell her “this is how it’s going to be” – peace be with you. However, If you do fit any of the above criteria, they you’ve found the right gal.  The girl who will answer your text, call or IM the moment you send it? You’re gonna need an iron stomach – If you want to be the rock that she can lean on, you’ll have to be able to listen to the details of her calls as she mentally re-lives those moments, playing them back, checking herself, questioning herself, critiquing herself. Don’t interject, don’t try to fix anything, just listen – and don’t vomit. Don’t try to change her -  We often hear men talk about women trying to change them. Well, this is a big issue with the female first responder. Men are very attracted to the strong, confident, independent women of this field, until they get deeper into the relationship.

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